As Life-Coaches we often use the phrase "land the plane". By that we mean, come clean- get focused- stop hovering and get to down to work. Some things are easier said than done right? Well, we realize this and are here to help guide you along the way. The road to successful relationships start with focusing on YOU-only YOU and NOT your partner. You must dig deep into who you are, how you became that way and how you can grow and improve. In doing so you will see the change and ultimate impact on your relationships.
Landing Guide
Not everyone will be able to see the metaphorical landing strip when it appears before them. Unequipped to land on your own, skilled coaches with the ability to see and predict the storms clouds ahead--can be your air traffic controller of sorts- to help navigate you safely--making no promises that you will avoid life changing turbulence.
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
Are you in a "hovering" mode?
Are you in denial about something?
Are you having difficulty with expectations & disappointment?
Are you questioning your life choices?
Are you simply existing-going through the motions without satisfaction?
Are you willing to accept change in others?
Do you have trust issues?
Have you let go?
Are you willing to let it go?
Patterns that have set the Path
We often think that we are feeling a certain way or in a particular situation because of what our significant other is or is not doing. What one feels may have little or nothing to do with what their partner is or, is not currently doing. On the contrary, your initial building blocks (exposures) has shaped who you areand how you understand behavior, respond to stimuli and engage in relationships.
EXAMPLES
If your parents were unmarried -you may not value marriage
If your father was unfaithful-you may see men as players incapable of being faithful or change
If your initial reference group (family/community) presented a certain socially unacceptable or deviant behavior as normal- you may comfortably engage in unhealthy practices and feel uncomfortable or judged by others who do not....get the point?
For people who have not resolved their issues from their childhood and/or struggle with learning to love, trust and let go, you will almost always without question ultimately sabotage your chances at developing a healthy, long-lasting and loving relationships.
Wseful skills you must learn are:
STOP
Arrest the negative thoughts
Take a quick inventory and of what's happening around you
Compare what you see with what you are thinking
Compare the positive with the negatives
Embrace the good feeling
Know that you can not predict the future
Tell yourself loving feelings are safe
Tell yourself you are going to see this relationship through.-without predicting the outcome
Yes, there are times when relationships simply do not work out. What we are addressing here is the need to land the plane and get down to work on your own personal development. It is our belief that when an adult shows up to a relationship whole and emotionally healthy; having done the honest, reflective work it takes to get there, they will attract like-minded others into their life.
In closing, focus on the positive, stay in touch with good feelings, READ to increase your interpersonal skills, seek out those who can offer you expert/seasoned advice. For information on our email/text/phone coaching.counseling services and fees call 708-474-4791 or send your request to johnsonandjohnsonconsulting@gmail.com. You will receive a Client Pre-screening form and detail on how to proceed.
THE LIFE WE LEAD IS CREATED BY OUR THOUGHTS. IF WE WOULD LIKE TO IMPROVE OUR LIFE WE WILL HAVE TO IMPROVE OUR THOUGHTS.
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