To Ask a Questions email eric@johnson-johnconcfls.com.
Q. When did you have to teach your children about being black and the prejudices that come along with it?
A. Wow, no end to racism! World wide racism! Pre-judged by the color of your skin. As a Black parent and grandparent, I have had to address this issue on countless occasions. It is bigger than that dreaded "Sex Talk", that most parents hate, especially when the questions come from young children and when your child calls from some college or university complaining about "unfair treatment".. I never taught my children to hate. My parents never taught me to hate. When will it ever end? Thank God there has always been some Black person doing great things and marking the hallways of history.
What role does "The Media" play in fostering Racism? If we take an objective historical look at how the Media (in all customary behavioral forms), i.e.. T.V, Radio, News Print and Electronics) portrays and reports on people of color/race and especially images of Black/African American males. Does the negative feelings about not having a positive place in society, contribute to the escalation of youth killing of each other? Why is there a societal need, today, to accent racial differences? Why is there a continual socially and culturally need to polarize people by race? How can thousands of "media reporters tell the same story", often without all the facts and with the network or show producer's prejudices/bias-slanting reflected in it...There is something about the way a society instills cultural values, from early childhood to adulthood, that fosters the very negative beliefs, values, attitudes and stereotypes (isms-systematic views of others) that some citizens have fought so hard to change. Twenty-four hours a day (round the clock news), there are groups of "media producers" in every city deciding what news stories reporters will "run/lead with", even if those reporters individually disagree with the information or it confronts their core professional values, experiences, and gut feelings. There are many sets of eyes in "The Eye Witness News". I often wonder, if that is the first place we should look for some of the root causes of institutional bias affecting the development of our children today. I welcome you check out a video on http://youtu.be/uV-1iY1gs5s .Eric Johnson
Q: i am 19 years old. 25 weeks pregnant. engaged to a soldier.we moved in together before i got pregnant and everything was fine. but lately he's been very short with me and very hurtful. he'll come home and see dirty dishes and he'll yell at me for it telling me im a lazy B**** that i need to grow up and when he stops with that he'll tell me he wants me out of the house, that he cannot stand me because i dont do anything that i need to go back home with my mom because he's tired of me. he'll put me down and then after i cry and his temper goes down he acts as if nothing ever happened. and he'll ask me why im pounting. today he said he needed to remind himself to come home to me, i asked why and he said because he didnt want to come home to me anymore. its very hurtful. i grew up without a father, and i have daddy issues and abandonment issues. he grew up without a father because his mother never let them see each other and she would brain wash him to believe his father was bad..
truth is im becoming miserable being pregnant and being with him, but i dont want to leave because i want my child to have parents like i never did. i should be happy and im not. at this point i can feel it moving and i resent it when he gets me like this because feeling it kick makes me so sad. i know i have to work at making things better, i do work around the house but he just doesnt see it. he'll come home and see me sleeping and wake me up and it there is something out of place say the laundry i just did on the couch he'll flip out on me and tell me he's leaving me. . sometimes i think maybe its the stress of becoming a father or something but he doesnt need to be verbally abusive toward me like that. i dont know what to do.
A: Intimate relationships are riddled with complex issues-obviously yours in no exception. It seems you've done some introspective work---seeking out the source of your behavior and responsibility for the outcomes your getting within your relationship..you mentioned having "daddy abandonment issues". Not to make excuses for your fiance (abuse is never acceptable!). However your situation is an all to familiar one in the lives of women.
I suspect your continued attachment to him and your heightened emotional reactions to his behaviors (what he says and does) is coming from a deeper place within you...how you react to him (and any man you have feelings for and long to accept you) will be very much similar and in some ways unrelated to them..What I mean by that is the way adults react/respond to a given situation is called “learned patterns of behavior". These patterns are neurologically programmed through earlier events.
Q: I've been married for seven years now and I'm thinking about going to couple counseling..nobody in my family has every been and they think I'm stupid for wanting to tell a stranger my business. Can you tell me more about what counseling is and what it can do for us..we don't talk much and when we do we argue a lot. I don't want a divorce but we might be heading that way...I am not happy.
A: Many couples experience commuication issues ( frequent arguments, repeating the same argument over and over, inability to get your partner to listen, frequent criticism, escalating conflict, feeling misunderstood, one partner shutting down). Often couples wait too long before seeking professional help. The average is six years-many people wait because they are skeptical that therapy can help them. I am always happy to let people know that research backs up therapy all the way. Even just scheduling the first appointment has been shown to trigger improvement!! There are a lot of misconceptions about what makes a good marriage or committed relationship. Research shows that couples who are successful with their marriages are not necessarily better communicators or have more in common. In fact, approximately 60-65% of what couples argue about is unresolvable. Therapy helps you determine what falls in that category and what doesn’t. That alone can make a big difference. Couples therapy also helps you learn the skills to resolve the resolvable problems. In the end, both of these factors make the difference.
Q: I really enjoyed the blog. It opened my eyes to a lot of things. I particularly like the acro FOG and as I began to read it, it made a lot of sense. I was left wondering: if you a sibling or s...omeone and you say you love somebody (another sibling, etc.) why would you emotionally blackmail them?
A: It's difficult to answer exactly why one develops this type of conversational style. However, it is safe to say that the continuation and persistence of their behavior is reinforced by the responses he/she gets from those he/she engages in conversations with. He/she manipulates loved one---triggers loved ones sense of FEAR, OBLIGATION and/or GUILT--loved one gives him/her what he/she wants to relieve the pain and in return gets the LOVE, PRAISE, MONEY, TIME etc...he/she wants from the manipulator.... and the cycle continues. Ways to deal with this destructive relationship dynamic will be posted this week...stay tuned. God Bless
Q: My 19 year old daughter refuses to act mature. what can I do to help her along with the process?
A: Many factors can contribute to your 19 year old not displaying the level of maturity you desire to see. To uncover the "WHY" you can start by using this technique. Get a pen and paper-Ask yourself the following--take the time to write out your answers in detail. 1) What are age-appropriate expectations of a 19 year old? 2) Is she capable? 3)Does she have the foundation to do the things expected of her? 4) Have I prepared her along the way? 5)What can we do that's helpful? 6)How does she see herself? 7) What does she see for herself moving forward? 8) How does what I/we do as her parents help/hinder her progress? 9) What are her peers doing that influence her positively/negatively? And finally, 10)What are the negotiable and non-negotiable areas when it comes to your parent/adult-child relationship? Emptying your thoughts-seeing them in black and white can help you to separate thoughts from emotions and set clearly outlined obtainable goals. Discuss them with her and revisit them often
Q: What time is a good bedtime for children ages 17, 16, 13 and 12?
A: If the ultimate parenting goal is not to control but to teach/instill self-control/self-discipline my view is--as long as the child is not displaying signs of sleep deprivation, bedtimes at these ages can be somewhat self-directed- within limitations EXAMPLE:. house rule-everyone must have lights out by 10:30P or something of that nature. Children are also creatures of habit. What we mean by that is, barring any undetected issues, if they are still physically active during /after school, are accustom to going to bed at specific times since they were younger it's likely their bodies will become tired near that same bed-time even as they age.
Q. When did you have to teach your children about being black and the prejudices that come along with it?
A. Wow, no end to racism! World wide racism! Pre-judged by the color of your skin. As a Black parent and grandparent, I have had to address this issue on countless occasions. It is bigger than that dreaded "Sex Talk", that most parents hate, especially when the questions come from young children and when your child calls from some college or university complaining about "unfair treatment".. I never taught my children to hate. My parents never taught me to hate. When will it ever end? Thank God there has always been some Black person doing great things and marking the hallways of history.
What role does "The Media" play in fostering Racism? If we take an objective historical look at how the Media (in all customary behavioral forms), i.e.. T.V, Radio, News Print and Electronics) portrays and reports on people of color/race and especially images of Black/African American males. Does the negative feelings about not having a positive place in society, contribute to the escalation of youth killing of each other? Why is there a societal need, today, to accent racial differences? Why is there a continual socially and culturally need to polarize people by race? How can thousands of "media reporters tell the same story", often without all the facts and with the network or show producer's prejudices/bias-slanting reflected in it...There is something about the way a society instills cultural values, from early childhood to adulthood, that fosters the very negative beliefs, values, attitudes and stereotypes (isms-systematic views of others) that some citizens have fought so hard to change. Twenty-four hours a day (round the clock news), there are groups of "media producers" in every city deciding what news stories reporters will "run/lead with", even if those reporters individually disagree with the information or it confronts their core professional values, experiences, and gut feelings. There are many sets of eyes in "The Eye Witness News". I often wonder, if that is the first place we should look for some of the root causes of institutional bias affecting the development of our children today. I welcome you check out a video on http://youtu.be/uV-1iY1gs5s .Eric Johnson
Q: i am 19 years old. 25 weeks pregnant. engaged to a soldier.we moved in together before i got pregnant and everything was fine. but lately he's been very short with me and very hurtful. he'll come home and see dirty dishes and he'll yell at me for it telling me im a lazy B**** that i need to grow up and when he stops with that he'll tell me he wants me out of the house, that he cannot stand me because i dont do anything that i need to go back home with my mom because he's tired of me. he'll put me down and then after i cry and his temper goes down he acts as if nothing ever happened. and he'll ask me why im pounting. today he said he needed to remind himself to come home to me, i asked why and he said because he didnt want to come home to me anymore. its very hurtful. i grew up without a father, and i have daddy issues and abandonment issues. he grew up without a father because his mother never let them see each other and she would brain wash him to believe his father was bad..
truth is im becoming miserable being pregnant and being with him, but i dont want to leave because i want my child to have parents like i never did. i should be happy and im not. at this point i can feel it moving and i resent it when he gets me like this because feeling it kick makes me so sad. i know i have to work at making things better, i do work around the house but he just doesnt see it. he'll come home and see me sleeping and wake me up and it there is something out of place say the laundry i just did on the couch he'll flip out on me and tell me he's leaving me. . sometimes i think maybe its the stress of becoming a father or something but he doesnt need to be verbally abusive toward me like that. i dont know what to do.
A: Intimate relationships are riddled with complex issues-obviously yours in no exception. It seems you've done some introspective work---seeking out the source of your behavior and responsibility for the outcomes your getting within your relationship..you mentioned having "daddy abandonment issues". Not to make excuses for your fiance (abuse is never acceptable!). However your situation is an all to familiar one in the lives of women.
I suspect your continued attachment to him and your heightened emotional reactions to his behaviors (what he says and does) is coming from a deeper place within you...how you react to him (and any man you have feelings for and long to accept you) will be very much similar and in some ways unrelated to them..What I mean by that is the way adults react/respond to a given situation is called “learned patterns of behavior". These patterns are neurologically programmed through earlier events.
What undergirds the ongoing dynamics you've described in this relationship is what you need to identify. Take some time to become introspective (by that I mean reflect on your life with the men who were in it (or stepped out of it)--from childhood to womanhood. Think about your early male/female interactions with the important men in your life dad/uncle/grandpa. By doing so you will uncover patterns that you have learned..you will discover how you developed what you see as "normal" male-female interaction (he yells you ?/he threatens you ?/He is kind you?/he is verbally abusive you?) Women learn through life-experiences what love from a man sounds like, looks like and feels like. Ask yourself what was your earliest experience loving a man? How did he love me? What did that feel like? How did I emotionally/mentally/ physically react to him? How did he react to me? What are some of the things you remember talking about? How did those conversations go? How did they make you feel?
Take some time to do this and you just might be able to resolve your unresolved issues with this man and all men in your future. If you would like some one to help you through this email me. karen@johnson-johnsoncfls.com
Q: I've been married for seven years now and I'm thinking about going to couple counseling..nobody in my family has every been and they think I'm stupid for wanting to tell a stranger my business. Can you tell me more about what counseling is and what it can do for us..we don't talk much and when we do we argue a lot. I don't want a divorce but we might be heading that way...I am not happy.
A: Many couples experience commuication issues ( frequent arguments, repeating the same argument over and over, inability to get your partner to listen, frequent criticism, escalating conflict, feeling misunderstood, one partner shutting down). Often couples wait too long before seeking professional help. The average is six years-many people wait because they are skeptical that therapy can help them. I am always happy to let people know that research backs up therapy all the way. Even just scheduling the first appointment has been shown to trigger improvement!! There are a lot of misconceptions about what makes a good marriage or committed relationship. Research shows that couples who are successful with their marriages are not necessarily better communicators or have more in common. In fact, approximately 60-65% of what couples argue about is unresolvable. Therapy helps you determine what falls in that category and what doesn’t. That alone can make a big difference. Couples therapy also helps you learn the skills to resolve the resolvable problems. In the end, both of these factors make the difference.
Another important thing that helps couples is that therapy broadens and deepens your awareness of what you are doing that is not working in the relationship. It is difficult to know this without an objective third party. It can be too difficult to accept feedback from our partners because the emotions tend to run high on both sides. In therapy, you have the unique opportunity to understand yourself and your partner better. From this understanding, more empathy and compassion are easy to find. When partners can look at each other with understanding, compassion and empathy, it is much easier to resolve the issue at hand. In fact, it is sometimes like the issue dissolves it is so easy! There is also a big pay off for each partner in developing their self awareness and emotional intelligence-bot gives us more personal power. Men grab onto the benefits of therapy as much as women do, even though they are sometimes more resistant coming in to therapy. That seems to be changing and is far less true now than it use to be.
It can be good to know that help is readily available, but you must make the first move. Please feel free to call me at (708) 474-4791, schedule and appointment; http://tungle.me/askkarenjohnson Or, if you prefer, you can send me an email now. I will be happy to respond to any questions you may have. Later, I would be happy to speak with your partner to answer any of their questions
Q: I really enjoyed the blog. It opened my eyes to a lot of things. I particularly like the acro FOG and as I began to read it, it made a lot of sense. I was left wondering: if you a sibling or s...omeone and you say you love somebody (another sibling, etc.) why would you emotionally blackmail them?
A: It's difficult to answer exactly why one develops this type of conversational style. However, it is safe to say that the continuation and persistence of their behavior is reinforced by the responses he/she gets from those he/she engages in conversations with. He/she manipulates loved one---triggers loved ones sense of FEAR, OBLIGATION and/or GUILT--loved one gives him/her what he/she wants to relieve the pain and in return gets the LOVE, PRAISE, MONEY, TIME etc...he/she wants from the manipulator.... and the cycle continues. Ways to deal with this destructive relationship dynamic will be posted this week...stay tuned. God Bless
Q: My 19 year old daughter refuses to act mature. what can I do to help her along with the process?
A: Many factors can contribute to your 19 year old not displaying the level of maturity you desire to see. To uncover the "WHY" you can start by using this technique. Get a pen and paper-Ask yourself the following--take the time to write out your answers in detail. 1) What are age-appropriate expectations of a 19 year old? 2) Is she capable? 3)Does she have the foundation to do the things expected of her? 4) Have I prepared her along the way? 5)What can we do that's helpful? 6)How does she see herself? 7) What does she see for herself moving forward? 8) How does what I/we do as her parents help/hinder her progress? 9) What are her peers doing that influence her positively/negatively? And finally, 10)What are the negotiable and non-negotiable areas when it comes to your parent/adult-child relationship? Emptying your thoughts-seeing them in black and white can help you to separate thoughts from emotions and set clearly outlined obtainable goals. Discuss them with her and revisit them often
Q: What time is a good bedtime for children ages 17, 16, 13 and 12?
A: If the ultimate parenting goal is not to control but to teach/instill self-control/self-discipline my view is--as long as the child is not displaying signs of sleep deprivation, bedtimes at these ages can be somewhat self-directed- within limitations EXAMPLE:. house rule-everyone must have lights out by 10:30P or something of that nature. Children are also creatures of habit. What we mean by that is, barring any undetected issues, if they are still physically active during /after school, are accustom to going to bed at specific times since they were younger it's likely their bodies will become tired near that same bed-time even as they age.
Keep in mind research on tv watching and other similarly stimulating activities (games/chatting/social networking etc..) has shown to be addicting, will impact your child's ability to get into a rested state.
Remember we will not always be around to monitor bedtime so the sooner they develop strong self-direction/self discipline the better off they will be when they are in college or otherwise on their own.
Remember we will not always be around to monitor bedtime so the sooner they develop strong self-direction/self discipline the better off they will be when they are in college or otherwise on their own.
Q: A friend found out that her 3yrold daughter was being molested by babysitter.The child's speech development is slow. Could the trauma of molestation slowed her speech development?what does she do now?On 11/14/2010 5:09pm YOU answered:
A: Finding out that a child was molested is devastating to everyone. First, as Clinicians we are compelled to ask if this incident has been reported to the proper authorities? Secondly, research does suggests abused/neglected toddlers typically exhibit language and speech delays- some do not talk at all. Did she display age-appropriate language development prior to the incident? To identify if there is in fact a trauma related correlation, we strongly suggest the child receives a comprehensive medical/psychosocial evaluation to rule out and uncover any/all issues. Finally, the parent(s) must not carry the burden of guilt unless they knowingly allowed this to happen to the child. They must try to stay upbeat, sensitive to the child's feelings and focused on her future development. Make sure she knows it is not her fault, protect her from future contact with the perpetrator and definitely seek professional family therapy. Healing is possibl
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Tweet thisQ: My beautiful girlfriend has gained some noticable weight. How can I tell her she needs to workout?
A: Many people are sensitive about their appearance and how their loved ones view them; males and females. Commonly, women gain some amount of unwanted weight during pregnancy which is challenging to loose, and again during menopause. Both of these transitional periods can be managed via diet and exercise. If you currently engage in regular exercise, try discussing the health benefits and quality time gained when couples exercise together. As a culture, couples tend to choose eating-out as an "Activity". If the two of you fall into this category, we suggest the replacing some of your trips to restaurants with fun-filled physical activities. Be creative-take turns choosing activities and you will both increase your health and get stay in shape. For weight management tips tune into Eat Clean and Get Lean with Dr. Vera Davis-Green. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZSWYX7uQPw
Q: Childless Couples. How do you politely answer the question "Why don't you have kids ?
A: It is important to acknowledge that you have the right NOT to answer this very personal question. With that being said, this is a commonly asked question of childless couples particularly by friends and family-you are not alone. Many couples who for various reasons, do not have children of their own are frequently asked to provide for the children of others. Their assistance in co-parenting often goes unnoticed and unacknowledged. Societal beliefs and pressures about what is "normal" can be enormous and difficult to address when they don’t fit into you idea of normal. If you and your spouse have grown accustom to your life without the day-to-day responsibility of children them perhaps that could be your answer; "We really like our life just the way it is" or “We’ve grown accustom to a house without children in it"-something along those lines. If pressured further for details you might have to move from being polite to putting your foot down and say "this topic is not up for discussion
Answered on 10/25/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Q: I have been single for almost 5yrs...(meaning any serious relationships)..but I have dated a few people of those years but nothing has come of it. I am almost 30 ..is there something wrong with me???
A: Change the way you look at things-And the way you look at things will change. Key to a successful relationship is that adults actually show up to a relationship "whole" - having done the necessary “self-development”. Essentially, the energy we put out in the universe is what we attract back. Be honest with you about yourself. Ask: Am I a giver or taker- Do I engage in calm discourse or am overemotional, demand attention? Distrusting or trusting? Do I buy love/loyalty or expect reciprocity and respect. Who am I-Why am I the way I am? Most M/F relationships skills are learned through interactions with our father (our 1st Love) during childhood/adolescence-we internalize patterns of behavior and use them as we grow into womanhood. What did life (1-17) with your first love teach you? Do men listen/value your opinion-when you’re upset stay and work it through-are they trustworthy and dependable-compliment beauty and intellect? You are not alone. Work on you & magnetically love will come.
Share this Tweet thisQ: I'm very angry and I have no idea why. I have a general idea, but i cant explain it. Help?
A: We are all emotional beings. We experience emotions in varying levels of intensity but nobody can deny having emotions. Anger is the most destructive of all human emotions. Understanding emotions is of paramount importance. Thus, it is important that we increase our Emotional Intelligence; the ability to recognize, understand and regulate our emotions.
There are primary and secondary emotions, primary emotions are what we feel FIRST. For Example: I step on your toe-you feel pain-I don’t apologize- you feel anger. Anger is a secondary emotion. This is important to know if you want to understand why you become angry. There are many primary emotions which, when they are intense enough, can lead to anger. We might feel insulted, pressured, cheated, disappointed etc. If these feelings are intense, we say we feel "angry." Identifying your triggers can help control anger episodes. Stop! Think about what happened before you felt angry “what did you feel FIRST”? Deal with that emotion.
Answered on 10/12/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
There are primary and secondary emotions, primary emotions are what we feel FIRST. For Example: I step on your toe-you feel pain-I don’t apologize- you feel anger. Anger is a secondary emotion. This is important to know if you want to understand why you become angry. There are many primary emotions which, when they are intense enough, can lead to anger. We might feel insulted, pressured, cheated, disappointed etc. If these feelings are intense, we say we feel "angry." Identifying your triggers can help control anger episodes. Stop! Think about what happened before you felt angry “what did you feel FIRST”? Deal with that emotion.
Answered on 10/12/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Q: a girl, 13 yr old got raped in the park. Her mother sought retribution to the fullest extent of the law. After, she decided to place her girl on the pill. Is this METHOD wise to protect from perps?
A: To clarify, a 13 year old can NOT legally consent to a sexual act rather it occurs with a 17 year old she is dating or a complete stranger -it is rape by law! With that being said, there is no known correlation between use of birth control and rape prevention. This parental response to rape appears unusual. If mom has placed her on birth control, one thought is that she might suspect that the daughter was previously sexual activity. The question then becomes should a 13 year old use birth control? Was she dating the perpetrator? To assume a rape victim would suddenly become sexually active is rather unusual. Research shows that rape victims, are generally less likely to increase or continue sexual activity; experiencing various stages of loss due to trauma, they tend to struggle with healthy sexual relationships in the future. As clinicians we are concerned whether she has sought treatment for the trauma; an experience that can impact her ability to develop meaningful relationships
Answered on 10/12/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Answered on 10/12/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Q: What are some tips for reinventing your realationship?
A: Think about the word INVENTING as a description of how couples develop their relationship–inventing who they are as a couple; and REINVENTING as a total Do-Over. With this in mind if the desire to work on the relationship & love feelings are present then you might want to consider not "reinventing" your relationship but going back to your TRASH BIN to pull items out and put them back in your INBOX. What you invented that made the two of you who you were as a couple-has probably been tossed to the side. Consider going back in to get those things and re-build what you already have. Start the rebuilding process by going back down memory lane and say "Hey what are those things that we INVENTED/ ENJOYED that made us uniquely US”. Find the right place and take turns identifying “high points” & “special moments” in the relationship that stand out for you. If the things you remember are similar GREAT! Make an effort to slowly re-introduce them. If the love is there no need to reinvent.
Answered on 10/12/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Answered on 10/12/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Q: When it comes to family, where should you draw the line? Here is an example. my nephew moved in with me and then I had to send him back to mom because he didn't want to follow the rule. Now, I have another nephew who want to come and stay with me............
A: If you don’t want to be bothered with parenting a teen say so- Be strong enough to say NO! Taking in a teen equals transferring parenting. Examine 1) issues around why the teen is being sent to,2) what you will loose/gain and 3)how your life will be impacted by this change. Communication of expectations of all parties involved is key; be clear about your concerns and express them.
Guilt, family pressure and closeness of relationship should not influence your decision; Exception being major loss i.e. death of parents.
If you say YES, prior to the move, make a contract outlining the financial responsibility for cost of care i.e. clothing, food, visits, special events etc. Set a probationary period {trial run} with an {it ain’t working out clause}. Keep a return ticket at all times. Also set house rules right away, pull out your parenting books, put on your seat belt and inflate your air bags because you WILL hit unexpected obstacles!
Self preservation Is the first law of nature.
Answered on 10/10/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Guilt, family pressure and closeness of relationship should not influence your decision; Exception being major loss i.e. death of parents.
If you say YES, prior to the move, make a contract outlining the financial responsibility for cost of care i.e. clothing, food, visits, special events etc. Set a probationary period {trial run} with an {it ain’t working out clause}. Keep a return ticket at all times. Also set house rules right away, pull out your parenting books, put on your seat belt and inflate your air bags because you WILL hit unexpected obstacles!
Self preservation Is the first law of nature.
Answered on 10/10/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Q: How would you describe your 'ideal' fan?
A: Anyone and Everyone who wants to improve their relationship and parenting skills and are open to learning!
Answered on 09/28/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Answered on 09/28/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Q: What is the appropriate age for both boys and girls to be permitted to spend the night out at a non-family member's home. They seem to be asking younger now than when we were little. Of course, overni
A: Because we believe children are a gift from God placed in our care it is important--no imperative that those we entrust our children to (no matter how long) are as familiar to us as trusted family members. It is our opinion that parents should be certain the adults who are responsible for their children share similar values, religious ideology, respect for dietary choices, ideas and parenting practices. This is important no matter what the child's age.
Generally the most knowledgeable/advanced or most aggressive sets the rules of engagement for their interaction for the night- and that child may not always be yours or share your beliefs. Parents should ask themselves " how will my child benefit from this activity?
Having said that, if a parent feels they have prepared their child for situations that involve attempts at inappropriate touch, conversations, life-endangering opportunities or exposures, and they posses the internal fortitude to Stand up- Say NO! Then age isn't an issue.
Answered on 09/28/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
Generally the most knowledgeable/advanced or most aggressive sets the rules of engagement for their interaction for the night- and that child may not always be yours or share your beliefs. Parents should ask themselves " how will my child benefit from this activity?
Having said that, if a parent feels they have prepared their child for situations that involve attempts at inappropriate touch, conversations, life-endangering opportunities or exposures, and they posses the internal fortitude to Stand up- Say NO! Then age isn't an issue.
Answered on 09/28/2010 by Ask Johnson and Johnson
